I Keep Looking

Today in my car the song my dad always deemed my song came on. Its called I Keep Looking by Sara Evans and is about someone who always wants what they don't have. I kept thinking about how this always has been an issue in my life. I struggle to be satisfied with what I have or am going through, even when what I have is WAY more than what I need. Instead of this song being a reminder of my teenage years, today it pointed to a wicked area of my heart that God has yet to take over. I have been doing the NEXT devotional series with The Village and the first few were about reflecting and being thankful for the things Christ has done over the past year. God has been so gracious in my life this year and has provided me with new and wonderful friendships and a chance to make a mark as Philanthropy chair in Delta Zeta. However all that is forgotten when I think about what I don't have, or my desire to graduate and have a family.
My prayer for this coming year is that I would find joy and satisfaction in what Christ has for me IN THE MOMENT. He is moving so fiercely in my life but if I am focused on my earthly desires I will miss the joy that He has for my heart.

Heart's Tendency

Today I was reflecting back in my journal and I came across notes from a very powerful sermon at The Austin Stone. It was just as powerful re-reading the notes as it was hearing it for the first time and it just showed me how my heart has a tendency to run back to the things that tear me from Christ. One of the biggest quotes I wrote down was "Unless my heart is healed and SEALED for Christ, I am to remain on my own or I WILL create idols." I don't know why it is so hard for me to be obedient to that but God has been fierce in pursuing my heart. At church today Christ called me to be obedient to what he has been putting on my heart so that I can press into him without the thing that can distract me the most.

I am so thankful for Christ's faithfulness in pulling me away when my hearts tendency is so wicked and sinful.
"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" Phillipians 1:6

Silence

This week has been a task filled week due to Delta Zeta responsibilities. Due to that, I have very little time to think about the sadness and heart-issues I am struggling with right now...until bedtime. I find myself avoiding sleep (what I am currently doing) so that I can avoid silence and time for me to think. In reality what I am avoiding is intimate time with God. Silence is when he speaks to us, its when we can truly grow near to him. I don't know what fear I have of that, maybe that it involves a lot of sadness or fear that my plan isn't his plan (sinful in itself).
I must pray against the fear of silence so that I can grow deeper to Christ. Below is an article that really has opened my eyes silence, I hope God can speak to you through it as He did to me.

www.biblicalspirituality.org/silence.html

Our God is Jealous

For a few months now I have been ignoring God. For so long I have desired to be consumed by him, to be filled by him. But he has said "I can't do that with this in your life." My stubborn world-filled lifestyle continuously shoved that to the back of my head and convinced myself that everything was good and pointed to him when it wasn't. Ignoring him for so long had its consequences, he recently ripped that area of my life away in a vicious manner. He wants me so bad that he had to do something drastic to shift my focus towards him.
This week I am praying that all distractions be taken from me so that my heart can focus on him so that I can be healed.

"You shall not make yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God."

Comforting Words

I saw this on an old youth group friend's facebook. God truly prepares me for the things he has in store for me- good or bad. This is where my heart is right now and I pray that he can continue to "disturb" me until my heart is set on him, never wavering.

Disturb us, Lord, when
with the abundance of things we possess
we have lost our thirst
for the waters of life;
having fallen in love with life we have ceased to dream of eternity

I catch myself falling in love with this world and creating idols of things that are momentary. My heart may be broken but for once I know that only HE can repair it.

So as the second semester of my junior begins I am starting to realize how insanely fast this whole college thing goes by. This semester has been exponentially better than all the rest and I can't wait to see what it has in store. The biggest development in my life involves a group of about 15 Delta Zeta sisters who have decided to come together weekly to worship and grow towards Christ. We attend the Austin Stone every Sunday as well as gather on Wednesdays to read and dig deeper. I am asking that you would pray for me and these girls that God would transform our hearts and tear us from the things society tells us we need.

Another reason my year has gone so great...These are most of my roommates. I have a total of 19 other girls living with me in the Delta Zeta house. I had a lot of fear going into this experience but God has truly calmed it as he has given me a chance to open up and grow so close to them.

The theme for the year: Productivity

Hey guys! So winter break is over and I have officially started my JUNIOR year of college! Its insane, I can't believe it's going by so fast! Winter break was AWESOME. It was definitely a time to reflect and rejuvenate for Spring. I worked a lot and saved pretty much every penny (let's pray I continue my saving spree). I got to spend quality time with the family, Kyle, old friends, Mr. Quinn Stagner (little boy I babysit) and his awesome mom, ... well you get the picture. The Lord is really blessing me with a true sense of energy and motivation. Already this semester I have been more serious about my body and health, school work, and spending DAILY time in the Word. He is really showing me that he wants to spend time with JUST me and He is calling me to get to know him more so that I will have the tools to be a Leader for Christ on campus and in my organizations. I just got a new book today called Crazy Love by Francis Chan that I can't wait to crack into. A friend told me about it and it really fits into where I am right now. My whole life I just had a surface level understanding and love for the Lord and it's time for me to dig deeper. It's more than just being a good and moral person, WAY more. I ask that you would pray for me that the Lord really speaks to me and opens up my eyes to what he has for me.

I'm taking 19 hours this semester and secretly I'm enjoying the challenge already. I have always been the type of person that flourishes with a busy schedule. I love it even more because most of my classes are "major" classes so I'm really beginning to learn the skills I need to be a teacher. This semester is going to be challenging in all aspects of my life but I couldn't be more happier about it!! Finally I'm kicking this procrastination thing in the butt and being productive!

I'll try to be better with updating and letting ya'll know how the semester is going!

Love,
Rachael